write bad fanfic. write mediocre fanfic. write fanfic that a thousand people before you have already written. write niche fanfic. write fanfic that only a few people will read or understand. write fanfic just for you. write fanfic just for a friend. write ocs. write self-inserts. the fact that you’re taking the time and energy to put your ideas into the world is amazing and people who shame you for it need to find better ways to spend their time.
Lion King (1994) explaining the importance of stylized 2D animation: Lion King (2019) and Cats (2019):
Kimba The White Lion (1965) explaining the importance of an original idea:
Lion King (1994) Lion King (2019) Cats (2019)
Shakespeare (1564) explaining the importance of an original idea:
Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):
Saxo Grammaticus (c. 1160 – c. 1220) explaining the importance of understanding that all creative work is inherently derivative once you study the oral tradition of storytelling and history and that’s okay because generations have always reformatted tropes and themes to make them relatable to their current audiences
Shakespeare (1564), Kimba the White Lion (1965), The Lion King (1994), The Lion King (2019), Cats (2019):
Tyrannosaurus rex (Late Cretaceous) explaining nothing because he’s a don’t give a fuck
[IMAGE SET ID: A series of UNDERTALE-style text-boxes depicting a conversation between characters.
PAPYRUS: SANS! WHAT IS THIS?
SANS: milk.
PAPYRUS: NO IT’S NOT! WHY IS IT SOLID?
SANS: didn’t you read the label? it’s 100% milk.
PAPYRUS: THAT DOESN’T EXPLAIN WHY IT’S…
PAPYRUS, squinting: OH. YOU WEREN’T KIDDING. 100% MILK. SHOULDN’T IT SAY “WHOLE MILK” INSTEAD?
SANS: nah. they don’t want you to know this, but “whole milk?” it’s actually only about 3.5%. hardly any more than 2% milk.
SANS, winking: i get the WHOLE whole milk. (The first “whole” is in all caps.)
SANS, eyes closed: they don’t sell this stuff at your local grocery store. you gotta know where to find it.
PAPYRUS, sweating nervously: THEN WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS???
SANS: oh, i make my own supply.
PAPYRUS, smiling: OH, OK.
PAPYRUS, suspicious: WAIT. YOU SAID EARLIER THAT “they” DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS.
PAPYRUS, sweating nervously: WHO’S THEY?
sans, winking: big farma. (“Farma” is spelled with an F instead of a P H here, to make it a joke about farms, where milk comes from.)
PAPYRUS, angry: SAAAAAAANS!!!
TEXTBOX WITH NO FACE SPRITE IN IT: Oogh, shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP!!! I’m trying to do my makeup, but I can’t focus with you two IMBECILES bickering about MILK! Don’t you IDIOTS know that the percentage on a milk carton is the percentage of FAT in the milk? That’s not 100% milk! That’s 100% fat! There isn’t even milk in there anymore! It’s!!! Just!!! Fat!!!
PAPYRUS, googly eyed: MEW MEW!?
PAPYRUS, angry: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP LIVING IN MY WALLS!
MEW MEW: And I told YOU to stop living in the empty spaces between the walls I live in! GET USED TO IT, mew~! Now answer the question for REALSIES this time, sans! Where the HELL did you find that!?
SANS, expression serious: well, i didn’t want to tell you this, but… the truth is…
At first Netflix said, come write for us. We’ll save your cancelled shows and write about whatever niche story you want. Our algorithm says people will watch it!
Then a few years later they said, regardless of our promises or contract obligations we are cancelling shows after two seasons without telling anyone. Turns out no matter how loved a show is, we get less subscriptions after the second season.
How many subscriptions did we bring you? Netflix won’t say.
So writers started writing two season shows. Just give us two seasons, Netflix. Like you promised.
Then Netflix said, oops sorry! Turns out your show didn’t premiere at #1 and the views in the first day weren’t what we wanted so we’re cancelling your second season.
What were the numbers? How many people watched our show? Netflix doesn’t say.
Then, they did something extra special. They started taking shows and splitting their first season into two halves. Inside Job was not two seasons. It was one season split in half.
Oops! Sorry! The second half of your first season didn’t do as well as the first half, so now your show is cancelled!
Why? How many people? How much money? These companies are making cash hand over fist and they refuse to tell people the truth: people loved your show. Loved it. But some corpo exec wanted an infinite money making machine. Do you know how long shows are in production for before you watch them? Years. Like, 5+, even 10+ years. And Netflix gives it less than a week before they decide whether you’re getting cancelled.
